White House Aides Admit They Almost Gave Biden a Cognitive Test—But Forgot Why
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New report reveals internal panic last year over testing optics: “If we test him, people might think he needs a test.”
Editor’s Note: The following is based on newly leaked accounts from inside the Biden administration during its final year. With Trump now back in office, these behind-the-scenes revelations provide a window into just how chaotic 2024 really was…
President Biden proudly holds up two charts at a fictional White House press conference, proving—once and for all—that his cognition soars above that of Trump University graduates.
Now over 100 days into Donald Trump’s second term, new details have emerged about the final year of the Biden administration—including a moment that insiders are calling “the mental fitness Mexican standoff.”
According to a leaked internal memo obtained by The Virtue Signal, top aides seriously considered having President Biden take a formal cognitive exam in 2024 to silence growing criticism. But the idea was scrapped once they realized the request might make people suspicious.
“We knew he would pass with flying colors,” said one staffer. “But if we actually gave him the test, the media might start asking why we needed one in the first place.”
Another former aide described the logic as “bulletproof in a ‘circular firing squad’ kind of way.”
The administration instead opted for what one document called “Organic Cognition Checkpoints,” which included:
Having Biden successfully name three U.S. Senators not from Delaware.
Watching him complete a Wordle puzzle without referencing Dr. Jill.
Ensuring he could walk from the Oval Office to the Rose Garden without narrating it like a nature documentary.
At one point, press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre fielded questions about the delay.
“The president does not need a cognitive exam,” she said confidently at the time. “He’s sharp. He’s decisive. And earlier today, he called our Secretary of Transportation ‘Amtrak Pete’—which is technically accurate.”
Meanwhile, Trump, then a candidate, used the delay to his advantage, frequently citing his own flawless performance on a cognitive exam taken in 2020.
“I did perfect on the test. They said no one had ever done perfect like that,” he boasted at a rally. “They gave me five words to remember: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV. And I added: Trump. I won the bonus round. Biden can’t even spell TV.”
Sources claim the internal debate over testing became so fraught that a White House intern once caught a senior advisor Googling “Can presidents take tests secretly?”
Ultimately, the test was never administered.
“We dodged a bullet,” said one aide. “Because what if he passed with a 100% score, but in Comic Sans?”
White House Aides Admit They Almost Gave Biden a Cognitive Test—But Forgot Why
🐦 "Mock responsibly—share this story:"
New report reveals internal panic last year over testing optics: “If we test him, people might think he needs a test.”
Editor’s Note: The following is based on newly leaked accounts from inside the Biden administration during its final year. With Trump now back in office, these behind-the-scenes revelations provide a window into just how chaotic 2024 really was…
Now over 100 days into Donald Trump’s second term, new details have emerged about the final year of the Biden administration—including a moment that insiders are calling “the mental fitness Mexican standoff.”
“We knew he would pass with flying colors,” said one staffer. “But if we actually gave him the test, the media might start asking why we needed one in the first place.”
Another former aide described the logic as “bulletproof in a ‘circular firing squad’ kind of way.”
The administration instead opted for what one document called “Organic Cognition Checkpoints,” which included:
At one point, press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre fielded questions about the delay.
Meanwhile, Trump, then a candidate, used the delay to his advantage, frequently citing his own flawless performance on a cognitive exam taken in 2020.
Sources claim the internal debate over testing became so fraught that a White House intern once caught a senior advisor Googling “Can presidents take tests secretly?”
Ultimately, the test was never administered.
“We dodged a bullet,” said one aide. “Because what if he passed with a 100% score, but in Comic Sans?”
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