ATLANTA, GA — A team of evangelical theologians from Reformed Seminary and the Nashville Brew Theology Collective have unearthed what they’re calling a “contextual addendum” to the book of Romans — a previously overlooked footnote that appears to soften Paul’s stance on alcohol.
The passage, found in a rare Greek manuscript, amends Romans 14:21 to read:
“It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble — unless it’s a limited-batch double-hopped IPA brewed in community.”
“We believe this changes everything,” said Dr. Calvin Porter, professor of Systematic Theology and Weekend Cicerone. “It preserves holiness while allowing for nuanced palate appreciation.”
The footnote, labeled 14:21b, also mentions “charcuterie grace,” a concept scholars say may permit pork-based pairings as long as they’re consumed in moderation and under Edison bulb lighting.
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Leaders from the Southern Baptist Convention responded quickly with a strongly worded resolution titled “Be Ye Not Frothy.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s Belgian, German, or brewed by a guy named Malachi with a beard and a story,” said Rev. Buckley Hargrove of Tallahassee First Baptist. “If it contains alcohol, it contains rebellion.”
The SBC has since convened an emergency committee to re-examine what counts as “stumbling,” “liberty,” and “drunkenness,” though sources confirm “joy” will remain prohibited.
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Theobros across social media voiced unanimous support, posting bearded selfies beside chalice-style pint glasses under the hashtag #SolaBarley. One popular meme read: “Faith alone. Grace alone. Hops alone.”
“The footnote just confirms what we’ve always known,” said Blake MacArthur IV, a reformed theology TikToker and amateur homebrewer. “Paul wasn’t a legalist — he was just misunderstood by people with dry palates.”
Pastor Theo Marks of Providence Pub Church in Asheville said the footnote provides theological clarity:
“It’s not about getting buzzed. It’s about glorifying God with responsibly fermented beverages and well-balanced citrus notes.”
Scholarly Debate Remains Fermenting
While many scholars are hailing the discovery as “covenantal craftsmanship,” others remain skeptical.
Dr. Ruth Anne Ketchum, professor of Biblical Holiness at Liberty University, questioned the manuscript’s authenticity:
“If Paul had meant it, he’d have written it on the main scroll — not in cursive next to a doodle of a Corinthian stein.”
“This is what happens when you translate Greek while drinking a Belgian,” said Dr. Miles Penrose of Midwestern Seminary. “Next they’ll be telling us Timothy had a hops allergy.”
