LOUISVILLE, KY — In a move that surprised approximately no one who’s been paying attention since 2016, Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and host of the once-hardline theological podcast The Briefing, has officially rebranded his show as “The Bending: Biblical Clarity for Morally Flexible Times.”

Speaking from a well-appointed library built on centuries of dogmatic certainty and recent years of strategic memory loss, Mohler described the change as “a natural progression in a complex and morally ambiguous world where sometimes you just have to roll with whoever promises the most Supreme Court picks.”

“The world is on fire,” Mohler said in his latest episode, ‘When Caesar Leads Morning Devotionals’. “And in such times, Christians must return to the timeless truths of Scripture—except, of course, when those truths conflict with realpolitik and midterm polling data.”

New Format, Same Bible (with Selective Redactions)

The newly minted The Bending podcast features:

• Flexible theology segments, including “Context is Everything: How to Say You Didn’t Mean What You Definitely Meant,”
• Political prayer requests, such as “Lord, give us wisdom… and tax exemptions,” and
• Guest devotionals from disruptors who may not know the Beatitudes but can recite Fox News intros verbatim.

One standout feature is the new recurring segment:

“Fruit of the Spirit, Reimagined”, which replaced “gentleness” and “self-control” with “strategic disruption” and “online ownage.”

Hot Episode Titles Include:

• “Blessed Are the Disruptors, For They Shall Win the Electoral College”
• “Empathy is a Gateway Virtue: Just Say No”
• “Render Unto Trump: A Biblical Case for Tactical Allegiance”
• “From Never Trump to Forever Amen: A Testimony of Realignment”

Mohler opened one recent episode by citing Jesus’ command to love your neighbor, quickly clarifying, “Unless your neighbor is undocumented, unvetted, or emotionally manipulative via the politics of empathy.”

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary Expands Offerings

In tandem with the podcast rebrand, SBTS announced a new master’s track in Ethical Contortion Studies, featuring courses such as:

• “Romans 13 and Other Excuses for State Violence”
• “Pragmatism 101: How to Vote for the Guy You Called a Predator”
• “Moral Absolutism, Now with Loopholes!”

Seminary spokespersons emphasized that “truth never changes, but our tone, loyalties, and working definitions definitely do.”

The episode concludes with a closing benediction that captures the spirit of The Bending: “Lord, grant us the courage to stand firm—unless standing firm threatens our committee appointments, media access, or political influence. In that case, grant us the flexibility to pivot hard while still sounding principled. Amen.”