Culture Archives | The Virtue Signal News

A young woman smiles peacefully while holding a smartphone displaying the Boundarify app. Around her, floating “TOXIC” icons symbolize blocked friends and contacts. The image is warm, minimal, and modern, with a calm, beige background. Satirical representation of digital self-care and therapy culture.

Boundarify: The App That Will Ghost Your Friends—So You Don’t Have To

TimothyMay 21, 2025

NASHVILLE, TN – In a breakthrough for emotional self-care—and a devastating blow to human connection—tech startup Boundarify has unveiled the world’s first app to set boundaries, ghost your friends, and diagnose your entire group chat with narcissistic tendencies, all before you finish your morning affirmations. “I used to spend hours ghosting people one by one,” […]

Headline: “Reasonable Adults Convinced Jesus Is Real After Joe Rogan Says It Makes More Sense Than Big Bang”

TimothyMay 17, 2025

AUSTIN, TX — In what theologians are calling the most unexpected evangelism breakthrough since Tim Tebow kneeled in high-def, thousands of previously skeptical adults have converted to Christianity after podcast host Joe Rogan said that Jesus “makes more sense than the Big Bang.” Rogan, best known for his unlicensed COVID commentary, elk meat advocacy, and […]

Black-and-white image of a suburban man holding a coffee mug, staring pensively out a window beside a banner reading “LOGGING OFF,” a closed laptop, and a “LIVE LAUGH LOVE” quote on the wall.

Kevin Announces He’s Leaving Social Media, Internet Braces for Impact

TimothyMay 14, 2025

Ohio man Kevin plans to unplug from the digital world — after a 7-day countdown, daily reflections, and one final Spotify playlist. AKRON, OH — In a move that has rocked at least three group chats and the extended Stansfield family message board, Kevin (no last name necessary, according to Kevin) has announced he is […]

“Stack of burnt bread heels labeled ‘Freedom Toast,’ topped with mini American flags; vintage 1930s ‘Eat Less Bread’ poster in background”

Freedom Toast: Is Your Kitchen Tariff Ready? | Satire

TimothyMay 13, 2025

Seven patriotic “meals” designed to help the average family thrive on $11 and nationalism. ““Freedom costs nothing at checkout—unless you count the new tariff on peanut butter.”— Virtue Signal Test Kitchen Director, Aunt Libby 🍽️ Welcome to TariffCore Living™ America’s cupboards are under siege. Imported staples now cost more than a streaming subscription, and avocados […]

A young child smiling and holding half-assembled sneakers under a Temu "Made By You" banner promoting DIY product kits.

Temu Turnaround – “Build It Yourself” Product Line to Bypass Tariffs

TimothyMay 12, 2025

Patriotic, Affordable, and Now Kid-Friendly SHENZHEN, CHINA — In response to sweeping new tariffs imposed by the Trump administration, e-commerce giant Temu announced today a bold pivot: a full lineup of DIY (Do-It-Yourself) kits that allow customers to assemble their own products — thus avoiding costly import taxes. The initiative, branded “Made by You, For […]

Satirical illustration of Times Square crowded with exaggerated monuments including Hulk Hogan and Hunter Biden statues

Monument Arms Race Erupts in Times Square as MAGA and WOKE Try to Out-Monument Each Other

TimothyMay 8, 2025

What began as a sculpture honoring dignity has devolved into a sculptural turf war featuring laptops, protein powder, and fireworks. NEW YORK, NY — The unveiling of a new statue honoring Black dignity in Times Square sparked more than cultural commentary this week—it triggered a full-blown Monument Arms Race, with political factions now competing to […]

“Actor dressed as Jesus stands awkwardly in front of cardboard biblical set; clapperboard reads ‘The ReChosen: Season 1 (Budget Faith Edition)’ with tagline ‘Now with 30% more miracles, 70% less budget’

Christian Studio Remakes The Chosen Using PureFlix Budget and Local Church Volunteers to ‘Make It Relatable Again’

TimothyApril 10, 2025

HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a surprising strategic pivot, the production team behind The Chosen is reportedly considering lowering the show’s production value in order to better appeal to its original target demographic: American Christians. After gaining widespread acclaim—even from atheists, agnostics, and former spell-casting witches—studio executives began to worry that The Chosen might have become too good. “We just never […]

Four emotional journalists at a press conference, some wiping away tears, as satire outlets close amid real news outpacing parody

SATIRE | The Onion Declares Bankruptcy as Trump News Outpaces Parody

TimothyApril 1, 2025

“We just can’t keep up,” says exhausted editor after fourth real headline beat their best joke. NEW YORK, NY — In a development analysts are calling “inevitable,” several leading satire websites, including The Onion, NotTheNews, and Babylon Bee, announced mass layoffs and bankruptcy filings this week, citing what industry insiders are calling “the Trump problem.” […]

Culture

OpenAI Launches Dating App—Early Testing Shows Promising Results According to Itself

TimothyMarch 26, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO—A Match Made in (AI) Heaven In its boldest move yet, AI powerhouse OpenAI has announced the beta release of its innovative dating platform, HallucinDate.ai, confidently claiming it’s achieving “groundbreaking success in romantic matchmaking” based entirely on internal reports generated by itself. “Our AI assures us that this is the most successful dating app […]

The Virtue Signal News

A live, tongue-in-cheek ticker of Trump’s fortune.

Woke up!

RECENT NEWS

“Join the Golden Dome™ Missile-Shield Plan, Get a Free Moose Hat!*”

A Virtue Signal Guide to Surviving the 2025 SBC Convention

Al Mohler Goes Progressive, Suggests Constitution Might Require ‘Context’

New MAHA Health Report Claims Ultraprocessed Foods “Cure Wokeness,” Cites Study by Dr. Pepper

A Virtue Signal Guide to Surviving the 2025 SBC Convention

“Join the Golden Dome™ Missile-Shield Plan, Get a Free Moose Hat!*”

Trump Announces Devastating Russia Sanctions; Kremlin Calls Them “Early Christmas” | SATIRE

Welcome to the Collateral Damage Confessional: Where MAGA Supporters Mysteriously Benefit From Trump Ruining Their Lives | SATIRE

BREAKING: White House Unveils Ivy League Purge Act—Harvard to Be Rebranded “Trump University at Cambridge” – SATIRE

Trump Demands Vatican Sale Following Pope’s Death: “We’ll Make It Great Again, Believe Me”

Temu Turnaround – “Build It Yourself” Product Line to Bypass Tariffs

Culture

Headline: “Reasonable Adults Convinced Jesus Is Real After Joe Rogan Says It Makes More Sense Than Big Bang”

Freedom Toast: Is Your Kitchen Tariff Ready? | Satire

Temu Turnaround – “Build It Yourself” Product Line to Bypass Tariffs

Monument Arms Race Erupts in Times Square as MAGA and WOKE Try to Out-Monument Each Other

Christian Studio Remakes The Chosen Using PureFlix Budget and Local Church Volunteers to ‘Make It Relatable Again’

SATIRE | The Onion Declares Bankruptcy as Trump News Outpaces Parody

OpenAI Launches Dating App—Early Testing Shows Promising Results According to Itself

Celebrity

Christian Nationalism

Church

TAGS

TRENDING

New MAHA Health Report Claims Ultraprocessed Foods “Cure Wokeness,” Cites Study by Dr. Pepper

A Virtue Signal Guide to Surviving the 2025 SBC Convention

“Join the Golden Dome™ Missile-Shield Plan, Get a Free Moose Hat!*”

HELP/SUPPORT