The Virtue Signal

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Category: Theology

Pastor Robert Jeffress preaching behind a pulpit, holding a sword, with a determined and slightly angry expression

Jeffress Hails Jesus’ Second Coming: “He Won’t Forget the Swords This Time”

TimothyApril 5, 2025
DALLAS, TX — Pastor Robert Jeffress, leader of First Baptist Dallas and spiritual advisor to former President Trump, announced on Sunday a bold new interpretation of the Second Coming of Christ: less grace, more capital punishment. Speaking to a packed congregation waving miniature American flags, Jeffress unveiled his new sermon series, Blessed Are the Executioners: Preparing for the […]
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Satirical podcast cover image of Albert Mohler seated in a suit, next to a microphone logo and the title ‘The Bending: Abandoning Convictions with Pragmaticism.’

Al Mohler Rebrands ‘The Briefing’ podcast as ‘The Bending’ to Better Reflect Evolving Values

TimothyApril 2, 2025
LOUISVILLE, KY — In a move that surprised approximately no one who’s been paying attention since 2016, Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and host of the once-hardline theological podcast The Briefing, has officially rebranded his show as “The Bending: Biblical Clarity for Morally Flexible Times.” Speaking from a well-appointed library built on centuries of […]
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ChatGPT Image Mar 28 2025 at 02 00 08 PM

‘Commandment of the Week’ Program Launches to Ease Kentucky Into Moral Clarity

TimothyApril 1, 2025
FRANKFORT, KY — In an effort to help residents better engage with the recently reinstalled Ten Commandments monument on Capitol grounds, Kentucky lawmakers have unveiled a new initiative called “Commandment of the Week,” a bold moral calendar that promises to bring slow, measurable holiness to the Bluegrass State. Starting Monday, residents will be encouraged — but […]
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Pastor Joel Webbon driving a car with an empty front passenger seat and a diverse group of people seated in the back, symbolizing his proposal that non-Christians should have no leadership role in America.

Pastor Joel Webbon Says Non-Christians Can Still Ride in America, ‘Just Not in the Front Seat’ — Proposes First-Ever Christian-Only Election

TimothyApril 1, 2025
GEORGETOWN, TX — In his ongoing series of parables loosely based on church history, Texas pastor and self-proclaimed Christian nationalist Joel Webbon clarified this week that while non-Christians are welcome to live in the United States, they should not expect to have “access to the driver’s seat, the steering wheel, or any government-issued keys.” “They can be in […]
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Photorealistic image of a professional woman in an office holding a “Coexist” coffee mug, looking horrified.

BREAKING: Christians Now Officially Most Persecuted Group at State Department, Say Christians at State Department

April 15, 2025
Trump Corrects: ‘Second Most Persecuted After Me WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a press briefing today, officials from the Trump administration’s newly established Task Force Against Anti-Christian Bias proudly announced that Christians have officially been named the most persecuted group at the State Department. The designation came after rigorous self-investigation, exhaustive internal polling, and several prayer breakfasts that […]

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