AUSTIN, TX — In what theologians are calling the most unexpected evangelism breakthrough since Tim Tebow kneeled in high-def, thousands of previously skeptical adults have converted to Christianity after podcast host Joe Rogan said that Jesus “makes more sense than the Big Bang.”

Rogan, best known for his unlicensed COVID commentary, elk meat advocacy, and deep dives into interdimensional reptilian conspiracies, made the comment in a recent episode while musing, “I mean, come on—people think all of this came from nothing? That’s way crazier than a carpenter who came back from the dead.”

The quote immediately went viral, sparking a surge of Google searches for “how to become Christian without looking cringe” and a 300% increase in DMT-fueled Bible study groups.

“Joe’s Been Right Every Time,” Say Converts

“I used to be a full-on materialist,” said Caleb, a software engineer from Denver, “but then I remembered Joe was right about the lab leak, UFOs, and stretching in infrared saunas. So when he said Jesus makes sense, I knew I had to take it seriously.”

Similar stories have poured in from all over the country. One man in Boise reported he became a Christian after rewatching Rogan’s famous 2022 monologue on ancient civilizations, decoding the entire Gospel of John through a Graham Hancock documentary and a Bluetooth mushroom speaker.

Even members of the scientific community have begun to waver.

“Technically, Joe’s Logic Is… Not Wrong,” Admits Physicist

“Look, as a physicist, I obviously support the Big Bang,” said Dr. Lin Zhou of Caltech, “but if you put a guy in a sauna long enough and feed him elk liver and ayahuasca… sometimes he says things that make metaphysical sense.”

Evangelicals Rush to Canonize the Episode

Several megachurches have already announced a new 4-week sermon series called “Risen & Rogan,” and one youth pastor has replaced the book of Romans in his curriculum with transcripts from Episode #2197.

“We were having trouble getting teens to care about theology,” said Pastor Bryce of 24:7 Church. “But when we played the clip where Joe says Jesus is more plausible than spontaneous cosmic explosion? Revival broke out in the snack bar.”

Meanwhile, theologians are divided.

“God Uses Donkeys, Why Not Podcasters?”

“Look, if God used Balaam’s donkey to speak truth in Numbers 22, I don’t see why He can’t use a UFC commentator with a kettlebell sponsorship,” said Dr. Karen Fields, Professor of New Testament Studies at Fuller Seminary.

As of press time, Joe Rogan had not officially converted, but sources say he has “felt a weird pull toward Galilee” ever since a CrossFit coach misquoted John 3:16 during a Turkish get-up.

Spotify has already announced an Easter remix of the episode titled: “The Resurrection—But Make It Vibes.”