Ohio man Kevin plans to unplug from the digital world — after a 7-day countdown, daily reflections, and one final Spotify playlist.

AKRON, OH — In a move that has rocked at least three group chats and the extended Stansfield family message board, Kevin (no last name necessary, according to Kevin) has announced he is “leaving social media to reconnect with what really matters.”

The announcement was made via a 497-word Facebook post accompanied by a grayscale photo of Kevin looking contemplatively out a window. The caption read, in part:

“Social media has become a loud place. I need silence. But first, I’ll be sharing one reason per day for the next 7 days about why I’m logging off — forever, probably.”

The post garnered 12 likes, one “Care” emoji, and a comment from his aunt that read simply, “Oh no.”

📆 The Exit Plan (As Explained By Kevin)

Kevin’s farewell will unfold across the next week:

• Day 1: “We weren’t meant to scroll this much.”
• Day 2: “Sunsets shouldn’t need hashtags.”
• Day 3: “People don’t know the real me. The one who microwaves tea.”
• Day 4: “I miss eye contact.”
• Day 5: “I’ve started to journal. Sometimes it rhymes.”
• Day 6: “My last carousel post: 8 photos of dirt, unfiltered.”
• Day 7: “This is it. Unless something important happens.”

Each update will be cross-posted to Instagram and X, and archived on his Substack, Off the Grid with Kevin.

🌍 Internet Responds with Concern, Reverence, and Speculation

The global response was swift.

President Donald Trump, speaking to reporters outside a Florida golf course, said:
“Frankly, Kevin’s very brave. Most people are addicted to scrolling — sad! But not Kevin. He’s got the courage to leave… just like people are leaving CNN. Maybe Kevin should run for something. He’d win.”

Taylor Swift tweeted (and then deleted):
“Sometimes, it’s the Kevins of the world who remind us how to feel again.”

Elon Musk, via X:
“Kevin has achieved what most humans fear: being offline for more than four minutes. Respect.”

🎙️ Experts Weigh In

Digital wellness consultant Tina Vallone called Kevin’s post “a watershed moment for digital culture,” adding:

“We’re seeing the emergence of what I call ‘Micro-Influencers of Absence.’ Kevin is leading the way.”

Tech analyst Marcus Jao told The Verge:

“This may spark a wave of Kevins. Or possibly a sub-genre of men who write Medium essays about going outside.”

Though Kevin insists he’s “not doing this for attention,” he has promised to go live on Instagram this Thursday to “answer questions about the exit.”

His Spotify playlist, titled “Logging Off, Tuning In,” features Bon Iver, nature sounds, and four Imagine Dragons songs he swears are ironic.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Kevin wrote in one of his follow-up posts. “It’s a deep breath. Together.”

Kevin’s final act before leaving? A LinkedIn article titled:

“What Social Media Taught Me About Silence, Community, and WiFi Extenders.”